Mojo ignited! Soul food

 Normally I start each year with some new photography plans, involving what I would like to learn over the course of the next year, any challenges I would like to try and genres I fancy attempting to learn or improve in. However, for the last six months or so I have been feeling very lost with my photography, I have not known what direction I wanted to move in. Its not that I lost my mojo or motivation, it was more a lack of direction and it has taken a lot of soul searching, exploring and discussion with peers before I finally felt good about my journey forward.

 Over the last 3 months I have been honing my skills in macro, more specifically with focus stacking, which I have enjoyed to a point, but the whole process has been very rigid and precise, which stifled my creativity a little. Taking up to 200 photos for one image, coupled with the lengthy set up procedures and the nightmare of constantly running out of storage space plus my computer repeatedly complaining at the ridiculous processes demanded of it lead to me feeling less than satisfied. This was a far cry from the " losing myself in the moment" type of photography that I love, taking me away from the therapeutic, mindfulness side of creating. Don't get me wrong, I am happy with some of the images I've produced, but the process was not feeding my soul. One decision I have made is to still follow this path with macro, but to mix it up with my other plans so that my computer doesn't pack its bag and leave home 😄 and so my brain can still enjoy a bit of escapism with other ideas. Which means 2023 will involve more focus stacking and macro stereo 3D images, but not week in and week out.

Being a member of a couple of very friendly and supportive Facebook photography groups has had its benefits during this process. I opened up about how I was feeling and received a wealth of bolstering, encouraging posts full of suggestions, some of which I decided to take on board. During the same week there was a post advertising a free online mini course all about food photography as a business. Food photography was at the top of my radar for starting to learn about, so I jumped right in. Health restrictions meant I was unable to fully participate in taking the photos on the specified days - I tried but struggled just to poach an egg, never mind set up the shot and take it. Instead I concentrated on learning what I could day by day. Even though it only involved a couple of hours watching and learning each day, I was completely exhausted with all the extra mental activity, its astounding just how much M.E affects cognitive abilities as well as physical. I made notes for myself  and was able to catch up with the last videos a bit later. The information included covered many areas, as we were encouraged to ask questions, received critiques and feedback, as well as guest speakers. The business, marketing and website advice was eye opening, having changed so much over the years, certainly something I need to brush up on if I want to earn from photography. All in all it was a brilliant week and I'm very grateful to Emma Dunham for running the course, highly recommended. Do check out her website and food academy. 

 As a result of the course, coupled with my attempts to produce some food photography images for a competition, and discussion with peers I have found my motivation has soared. I feel inspired again and know which directions I want to pursue on my journey  over the next year or so. You guessed it, food photography is most definitely one of those choices, but I need to find ways to make it  possible, because I am still unable to manage energy demanding activities, which means adapting, learning new ways that I can do this. Planning is going to be the key thing here, I have already learned that I need to write everything down, broken down into steps, because I forget and get muddled too easily. I have already made so many mistakes in my first attempts as my brain became too muddled. Michael had the brain wave of breaking everything down into steps, written down. On top of this I need to plan how to approach food photography over a few days, as I have discovered that doing it all in one go is too much for me, having a knock on effect of making my symptoms worse for several days. So I can plan one day, set up back drop/set top/lights one day, organise props one day, prep what food I can another day ( some foods can be prepared a day before as many food are made to appear fresh by using various tricks) This will leave my energy to get creative on the day that I shoot. But I won't do food photography too frequently unless I can get creative easily, because I don't want to end up feeling the way that I have, I need the type of photography where I lose myself in the moment. I'm going to mix it up with a bit of still life too.

 That is two areas I will be concentrating on, two projects as such. The next is one that was suggested by several members of the wonderful SheClicks group, I have joined 52frames this week, it involves taking a photograph based upon a theme each week and should get me trying new things. This week just happens to be food, next week is details. I have joined a SheClicks subgroup which I didn't know existed - SheClicks 52frames, which I'm sure will be friendly, helpful and inspiring.

Others things I am considering looking into this year include exploring the idea of producing a book, looking into doing a webinar and possibly being involved with some youtube videos.  I want to do short online presentations but due to cognitive and memory difficulties which can occur after even short conversations I do not currently feel comfortable or confident in this approach, so I think that a pre recorded  webinar which I can break down in sections could be a way forward, but I need to get to grips with how to do the video and slide presentation - I have tried but for some reason my brain has struggled with some of this, but I'm determined to find a way to do it, even if I need a bit of help to get started. 

Now that may sound a lot to be going on with,  I will be taking my time with my projects, there is no rush, I have all the time in the world to learn. The food photography and focus stacking are long term journeys, the 52frames can be anything from a quick phone snap to something planned in minute details, depending on time, opportunity and energy, though I intend to try to use this as a chance to immerse myself in creative ideas once a week. As a future challenge I may even try to produce a couple of images to enter into Pink lady food photographer competition next year, that will give me plenty of time to come up with ideas and execute them to the best of my ability. I already have one idea where I need to learn a few techniques in order to produce my vision.

 The other ideas I can dip into as time goes by, plus I will be creating through painting and drawing at times too, so I have plenty to keep me occupied. On top of that there is someone who I would like to help with their photographic journey.

 I'm feeling very motivated, inspired and curious about my photography adventure

In the news... IGPOTY Portfolio finalist, CUPOTY results and Amateur photographer article.

  Happy news today, on my second year of entering the Portfolio section of the International garden photographer of the year ( IGPOTY), I have managed to get a finalist position. I am thrilled with this, even more so as it is judged by the esteemed Royal photographic society ( RPS). Totally over the moon. What is also lovely is that it is a still life portfolio, a subject which I put a lot of time and effort into trying to improve and learn this last couple of years and hours pondering which to enter. 

 I also managed to get an image placed in the new Fungi category, which is very pleasing as its yet another subject which I have endeavoured to improve upon recently

So here is my fungi image, a strange one as I added textures to it. The mushroom shapes in the background bokeh were created by a tiny mushroom between the lens and the main mushroom. I added my own textures and edited it using Exposure 5 software for a bit of a different feel. Lovely to see fellow photographers Tony North and Barry Webb ( Barry produces the most fascinating macro shots of slime moulds) doing so well in this category too, check them out here -Fungi results

So I can now finally share my still life portfolio with you all. It was a project I embarked on partially in a bid to focus on learning how to light still life images better and also on bringing the beauty of wild flowers indoors - quite a personal one for me as I find it too exhausting photographing outdoors due to having M.E., so adapted to creating something indoors where I can take my time and sit down as much as I need. This is another example for all those who say  that they cannot get out to take floral photos, all the flowers were obtained very near our home ( literally in our garden and our street for some)

I wanted to showcase the beauty of wildflowers in still life settings. These days it is more common to see vases full of flowers bought at florists, but I prefer to enjoy wildflowers in a style similar to the Old Masters’ paintings, with light cascading across them. So, I set out to produce a collection of still life floral photographs, using my own interpretation of the classic still life style.

All plants used were local to me, mostly growing in my garden, a nearby garden, or wasteland. They include; rosebay willowherb, purple loosestrife, salsify, chamomile, dill, and buttercups.

 

This first one is Rosebay willow herb which has fabulous shapes, like tentacles reaching out.

Purple Loosestrife from a wild garden at the end of our street provided a bright splash of purple spikes to contrast against the greens of the vegetables from our local farm shop in this image.

These incredible Salsify seed heads from our garden were screaming out to be photographed, I felt they complimented the wildness of a mini faux birds nest and look quite special adorning  this decorative pewter vase. With subtle colours and creative lighting they pop nicely.

This lovely bunch of Chamomile is a sight I will not see in the same spot again as it is now been used to build houses upon, so it is quite fitting that they have a special place in my local wild flower project.

Wild Carrot or Dill? I am still not sure -  reply with your answers :) Nice vibrant flowers with intricate shapes.

The much over looked humble Buttercups with more Salsify feature with a kind of farmhouse table look.

 I hope you all enjoy my still life portfolio as much as I enjoyed creating it. The lighting was quite tricky in a small room and mostly featured 3 or 4 lights, with reflectors and home made Gobos. Quite time consuming to get it all just how I wanted it as even a slight shift of an inch or two made massive differences to how the light fell.

Do check out the other truly jaw droppingly beautiful portfolios that were placed and the other wonderful images from so many talented photographers in the rest of the categories. I absolutely adore the 1st place image. IGPOTY winning portfolios

In more good news, this week saw the publication of an excellent article ( in Amateur Photographer magazine ) written by the very innovative photographer, Tracy Calder, about mindfulness and photography, an approach I whole heartedly believe can help many people. Tracy kindly put my name forward for inclusion in the subsequent article which was superbly written by the lovely Geoff Harris. Geoff rang me for a little chat about the part photography has taken in my life, my struggles to actually manage photography with the symptoms of M.E. and benefits of using photography as a coping strategy. Its a great read with eye opening interviews from others who have employed photography as a tool to help themselves, its a sensitive subject and handled so well with Geoff's thoughtful and compassionate writing. Worth a read.

Today also saw the results of Close up photographer of the year's Two of a kind challenge. I was lucky enough to have two images make the stunning shortlist. Very chuffed to say that my image of the two Cyclamen made it to the gorgeous finalist selection. CUPOTY TWO OF A KIND WINNERS

This is one of my favourite images taken last year, sadly I can no longer reach this spot on my mobility scooter as it has been devastated by two storms within 2 months, with trees uprooted and hanging precariously. The paths are blocked for the second time in 2 months and I am told that the park is in a much worse state now. So this image is even more special to me, capturing a treasured spot where I practiced mindfulness for the last 2 years during the pandemic. Its a happy image, but tinged with loss of a much cherished woodland habitat.

Above "The Kiss" exquisite, delicate form and shape mixed with romantic pink ethereal haze in this portrait of winter Cyclamen.

A selection of images and tips from winners is to be published in Amateur photographer magazine next week, which could be interesting for those who enjoy a bit of close up imagery. ( I think I should get a commission for plugging a certain magazine this week! :D )

Now I have a question to ask you all, what would you like me to blog about on here?

This years projects and Mindfulness again

 I've been getting out to do photography a bit less lately with M.E.  affecting my ability a bit more in the last couple of months. So I have been spending less time doing photography at home too, just trying to conserve energy and get myself feeling a bit better. Instead I have been spending time planning photography projects for this year and doing a little water colour painting which I have loved. Two of my first water colour paintings is below.

 As usual I have planned some photography projects for this year and I am finally going to try hard to get a portrait project off the ground that I have been slowly planning and creating accessories for, over the last few years. Its a personal venture incorporating interests close to my heart - nature and pagan beliefs. I am not religious but do follow the pagan wheel of the year which has 8 celebrations throughout the year, based on seasonal changes. Each occasion involves various significant elements and occurs at specific times, for instance the next one is Imbolc  - where the Green man chases off Jack Frost, we celebrate growth, hope and the changing of light. Spring cleaning  possibly comes from this, where we clean out and let go of the past and make way for new beginnings. The Goddess Brigid is honoured, as she brings healing and fertility. My project involves creating my own visual interpretation of various characters that are associated with these celebrations, starting with Brigid, Jack Frost and the Green man in his Oak guise. Each character will be thoroughly researched and I hope to involve many elements that are important to the particular character or celebration. I'm sure many of you may be fascinated with the stories and how they are connected to modern day culture, or other religions.

I have already attempted to create two of these characters in the past few years, but my progress has been slow due to many factors - but mostly M.E. So I am excited to get started and with careful planning, even a very short photo shoot can produce what I am after, although I have decided to involve other photographers to allow me to take my time and  just shoot for brief spells with rests. Below is my first attempt at one character from Ostara the 2nd celebration in our calendar. This was taken a couple of years ago, in a short shoot in my bedroom.

Model Courtney Lorraine
Make up b #Annsmakeupchair
Headwear by  me 

Based on Goddess Ostara ( Eostre - Goddess of Spring/Balance/fertility/rebirth) - the hare gave the Goddess an egg - hence the the hare and eggs in the head wear, daffodils, birds nest and butterflies incorporated into it as signs of spring

One popular story you might know of involves the origin of the Easter Bunny. Essentially, the tale is that Ostara, the Goddess of the spring, transformed a bird into a hare, and the hare responded by laying coloured eggs for her festival.

Another of my characters is a Tree spirit based on beliefs of trees being chopped down and brought inside to warm the tree spirit at the end of the year. Although I did not produce all the elements I intended in my two attempts - I'm getting closer each time. Here are two attempts at my ideas of Tree spirits. 

Trees have traditionally been used to celebrate christmas and winter festivals throughout time. Pagans would bring in evergreen trees or branches to celebrate the festive season around the winter solstice. Legend has it that a long time ago a tree would be brought in during the cold months to invite the wood spirits inside homes to share and relish the warmth of the fire inside ( slightly ironic considering they were most likely burning wood/trees). The use of evergreens would symbolise everlasting life and the coming spring, Pine and holly would be used in decoration as it was thought to offer protection, Ivy was used for immortality, the use of mistletoe and its white berries would symbolise fertility.

A few of these elements, but not all are represented in some of these images.
Whilst I have used a Lensbaby to produce the ethereal, effect that I felt helped make the character more spirit like, blending into he surroundings. The studio images deliberately have fiery orange in the background as the warmth of the fire, or green for the everlasting greens and promise of the coming spring.

The headwear, neckwear and top were created by me, with a tiny faux fur waistcoat over the top.
Modelling was the amazing Hell DBella who was very expressive, emotive and full of a million poses.
Make up and body paint was provided by the lovely, talented Viki Lloyd and funky hair carefully styled by the lovely Solitaire Weber. Again this was produced a few years ago.

Below - MUA Jayde Louise from Glass house glamour and Natalie Mckee modelling
Headwear, and top by me Created two years ago.

So I look forward to getting further with this project this year and sharing the stories with you. Even if I only manage the first 3 characters this year then I am still moving forward with my project.

 I am also going to continue trying to improve on and enjoy photographing plants, fungi and still life as time, life and my body allow, probably mostly from home but hopefully outdoors too.

Mindfulness

 You may recall my blog about mindfulness last year, well I have continued to practice this ever since, finding it even more important when my body is not functioning well or when stressful events occur. I have extended my mindfulness strategies to include art and crafts, on top of the meditation, appropriate yoga, deep breathing exercises and photography. 

 Recently I was honoured to be involved with an article in Amateur photography magazine about how photography has helped people with various illnesses. Do look out for this issue mid February, its a great read by Geoff Harris and Tracey Calder has apparently produced a fab piece on mindfulness too. I'm looking forward to reading it all. Amateur photographer

Some images from my most recent mindfulness photography below, losing myself in the beauty of nature. All taken within a few ft of a car park. I went out feeling quite unwell, but needing to get out of the house and spent my time right next to the car, to avoid using too much energy and making myself feel worse. I had no photography ideas in mind, but just captured the beauty of nature around me, and it was a gorgeous day. As usual this helped me by distracting me from all of my symptoms, reducing their impact. The next day I paid for it with worsening symptoms but that is the nature of M.E. and at least I had a lovely time and some nice photos.

 It was an interesting experience as its a well frequented spot by photographers and this particular car park had around 16 photographers passing through and waiting around to photographer an infrequent bird visitor. They all stood for hours not getting the shots they wanted and I thought that it cant be very fullfilling stood for hours not getting any photos. I over heard two of them saying they wanted to go and look to see what I had been photographing whilst lying on the ground ( did you see that photographer lying on the ground!!!). I had a good giggle. Im sure I enjoyed myself more than they did and I certainly had a more productive time, with no set ideas. Im sure it would benefit other photographers if they challenged themselves to photograph what was around them, they  could find new joys in capturing the very obvious details right in front of their noses.

Some good news on the photography competition front for January. Firstly I have had 2 images shortlisted in CUPOTY's Two of a kind challenge, I look forward to seeing the results in February. There are so many incredible images shortlisted - do pop and take a look - CUPOTY Two of a kind shortlist

Pic above is Derwentwater, near Pow hill in Northumberland

I am also looking forward to hearing results from IGPOTY 2021 in February and to see if I am nominated in the SWPP POTY 2021in one of the categories where I received a gold award (Macro, In camera artistry and Plants, forests and fungi) - apparently nominated photographers find out next week, with the prize giving in March at their convention. Then there are the results of the NPS POTY 2021. So its an exciting time with competition results.

Mindfulness and photography

Why use photography as mindfulness 

A brief couple of paragraphs explaining why I have started focusing more on mindfulness and applying it to photography.

 Recently I have commenced a new health programme to correct a few imbalances and nutritional issues in my body that may be causing many of the symptoms associated with M.E./Chronic fatigue syndrome which I have had for 14-15 years. My health professional has a wonderful holistic approach despite her main focus and expertise being in nutrition, which is very much in line with my own approaches. As part of the new health plan I spend time outside in nature to compliment my circadian rhythms and aid sleep, follow a complex nutrition and supplement protocol ( gluten free, dairy free, low sugar, low alcohol, low lectins, low oxalates) plus work on practicing mindfulness and stimulating my vagus nerve. In people experiencing M.E./CFS it is thought that a dysfunctional autonomic nervous system (ANS) could be causing many symptoms such as sleep issues, cognitive difficulties, inflammation and pain. People with M.E/CFS are said to have a low vagal tone and increasing this is thought to aid in reducing symptoms. These mainly involve techniques that induce the relaxation response which, over time, affects autonomic nervous system functioning. More in depth info is on the ME association for anyone who is interested. Self help measures that help to increase vagal tone include - Deep breathing exercises ( check out Wim Hoff the ice man - fascinating), Mindfulness, Meditation, gentle aerobic exercise such as yoga, massage, acupuncture, cold (showers), sunlight, laughter, healthy eating. 

 In the last couple of months I have found myself more and more drawn into learning about mindfulness, which has led to exploring spirituality and meditation, even a bit of yoga. I started by reading books when my brain fog would allow, watching a wide variety of videos on you tube and listening  to guided meditations. I've tried all sorts from Wim Hoff's intense guided Deep breathing, to sleep hypnosis, very gentle guided yoga, and a programme of ten minute mindfulness exercises to be practiced daily. So I have proceeded along a new path of self discovery quite by accident. I have found deep meditative states that I can only describe as bliss, a more peaceful way of being and I have been left questioning all that I do, including photography.

 I get out to try a little photography an average of once a week and lately I have had some very set ideas in mind that I specifically wanted to attempt producing, with end results in mind. However, things don't always go to plan -sometimes wind or sunshine ( or lack of it) have affected my plans, other times my cognitive functioning, fatigue, low energy levels have resulted in me forgetting something crucial in the process, making schoolgirl errors etc - its not easy when your brain does not function fully, or equipment has been a little off! Consequently I have repeatedly been disappointed with my results, usually knowing I could do better if my brain and body were functioning better - I don't like being negative so tried hard to brush it off, but underneath the frustration and struggle is real as I only get to try once a week and that's my energy gone, all used up and having to rest for days afterwards. 

 Luckily I love the process of taking photos, whether they work well or not, I have often said that photography is my own therapy, my own form of mindfulness. I enjoy planning for it, getting things ready, scouting locations, planning lenses or lighting etc and any accessories or people involvement. This is where the mindfulness ties in, I realised in the midst of practicing and learning about all these meditative techniques and my frustration following my difficulties producing what I wanted in photography and realised that I need to step back a bit, applying mindfulness to my photography in a different way.

 So I am setting out to simply take my camera and lenses out with me without preconceived ideas, aiming to be totally engaged in the present moment, to take in what is around me and try to look at things in new ways, applying the techniques I have picked up over the years. My plan is to simply enjoy the peace and beauty of nature, the natural wildness and attempt to capture some of it in photographs, without judgement or pressure. I will be combining this with short spells of meditation, totally immersing myself in my surroundings, whatever the weather, relaxing and being totally relaxed yet uplifted by nature. Hopefully this will shine through in the images that I produce.

 I started in my garden, sitting and lying looking at the plants, insects and birds. The sun was shining through the undergrowth, peeking through and causing the surface of our pond to sparkle with the colours of the plants beyond. I chose a couple of crystals to give a similar feel and used a shallow depth of field to provide a more ethereal look, closer to what I was experiencing. These are not what I would call good compositions but closer to what nature was presenting - you cannot control nature.

 This is a different approach to most of the photography I have done lately, often at home, I have been trying to produce specific type of images with a purpose in mind - often for competitions, which has been my main driving force. I wonder if my new interest in mindfulness, meditation and spirituality will change my reasons for doing photography, or entering competitions, if it will affect what I produce. It will be an intriguing path to follow and may help me see things through new eyes. Watch this space.

Here are a selection of images taken on a recent trip to a Bluebell filled woodland where I could not move far due to mud on the paths ( my mobility scooter kicks up a fuss in mud!). I had planned to simply photograph some close ups of Bluebells, but the light was so beautiful that I felt compelled to capture it. Here I did sit and absorb the sights, sounds and smells, being one of the most beautiful sights of the year for me ( missed last year due to lockdown restrictions). All 3 images below were taken within about 20 ft space. A family were out with their dog and I grabbed the opportunity to capture the moment.

 I would like to add that in the months following this approach that I have progressed from being in moderate pain pretty much  99% of the time to only having normal aches and pains. I am fairly confident that this is as a result of reducing both lectins and oxalates in my diet, but know that mindfulness is helping me to address residual pains effectively. Its early days yet, but this is a very promising sign.